Below are some common questions families have about mediation.  Have additional questions? Be sure to reach out to us.


Typically, it is at the school district headquarters. You will receive a scheduling order that provides the address. You can also find the address by googling the school district where your child attends.


Yes. You should.


9:30 AM


It depends. Some mediations last fewer than 30 minutes; others are longer than 12 hours. Typically, mediations are wrapped around 4:00 PM. If you have scheduling conflicts (e.g. I have to pick up my child at 2:30 PM), let your attorney know.


Business casual attire is appropriate. Mediation is a formal process with lawyers and judges. While it is not conducted in a courthouse, it is an event that you should dress up for. That being said, you do not need to wear a suit.


Mediation is a form of “alternative dispute resolution.” The alternative is going to court, where a single judge (in the case of special education) decides your case. At mediation, you get to be involved in the solution (called a “settlement agreement”). Special education mediation is like civil mediation, divorce mediation, and other forms of negotiation (e.g. purchasing a home) with which you may be familiar. A “neutral” (a judge, who doesn’t work for the school district or for you) mediator will do her/his best to help you and the school district reach a settlement agreement you are mostly satisfied with. Like every negotiation, neither party will get everything they want.


Mediators are “Administrative Law Judges” (ALJ) for the “Office of Administrative Hearings” (OAH). They are usually judges who hear special education cases. The mediator who is assigned to your child’s mediation will not be the judge who hears your case if your case goes to a hearing.


Mediation often begins with the mediator speaking to the student’s family. The mediator will explain some basic rules of mediation and how she/he likes to run mediations. Then the mediator may call the school district representatives (usually an attorney and a special education program specialist) into the room where the family is located. An “opening statement” may be requested. Your lawyer will do much of the talking and may ask you to share your impressions of your child’s progress (or lack thereof). This may seem scary, but most clients find it cathartic. A starting dollar amount may be presented by your lawyer at this point. The district may respond. Then, the mediator usually leaves with the district and they “caucus” in a separate room. The mediator often walks back and forth between the rooms presenting offers. Each mediation is different. Be prepared to wait for long periods.


Most cases settle without going to hearing. Often, this does not happen at the mediation. Do not be disappointed if your mediation does not end with a signed agreement. Your lawyer will continue conversations with the other side in the days/weeks following the mediation.


Yes. Please schedule a time 1-5 days before your mediation to speak with your lawyer. Think about what you hope to obtain and what your “bottom line” is prior to this telephone call.


Mediation is a “confidential” process. This means that anything you say, can be said candidly. The same is true for the school district. It is confidential in that you cannot use things admitted at mediation against the confessor (e.g. the school district says “Parent, you’re right. We failed your child.” You cannot use this confidential statement at the hearing). This rule exists so that parties will speak openly.

The mediator will keep information confidential. If you want the mediator to convey a specific message, you should be clear (e.g. “I authorize you to share that my child doesn’t really like her teacher.”) so that the mediator understands this is not confidential information.

Settlement agreements are ordinarily confidential. If you sign one during or after mediation, you cannot share the information in the agreement with others (e.g. you cannot post on Facebook “I creamed the school. They’re putting my son in private school because they screwed up.”)


Yes. If you have receipts for services you have funded, you should bring them along with bank statement proving your payment. You should also bring any records about your child that you have easily accessible (if you keep an IEP binder, bring that). Also, bring snacks and beverages. Mediation can be a long process and lunch breaks are sometimes skipped. Bringing food is wise.  


No. You are in good hands and your lawyer is very comfortable with mediations. While mediation is a formal process, it is conducted with a friendly, solution-focused manner most of the time. Spending many hours with your lawyer allows you to connect, discuss the case in great detail, and share information about your child. Mediation is an exhausting, but not scary event. Do not be afraid.


Juliet Barraza is the parent of two young boys, one of whom has developmental disabilities and epilepsy.

John is an Elder Law attorney practicing in Pasadena, California. He became an Elder Law attorney in large part due to his experience caring for his mother. She was afflicted with a neurodegenerative disease in early middle age.

At about 11 months we suspected our son has autism.  However, it was not until 24 months that we finally found someone who would confirm our concerns, and at that time, fears!

As you already know, understanding the best path forward for kids is daunting. Especially so in the beginning when we know the least.

Sometimes (more than sometimes for me), we need the advice and help of an expert. At CSNLG we have a list of providers with specific expertise in various areas. We are continuing our efforts to bring those experts, and their knowledge, to you.

Take a look at our experts page to see who we recommend and have worked with in the past. Check back once in a while as we are continuing to add more folks.

If you don’t see anybody that fits your needs, feel free to reach out to us.

Valerie Aprahamian, Founder of Advocates For Angels, is a Non-Attorney Advocate, Author, Teacher of Special Education Law, and Speaker. Valerie’s life work has been to assist parents of special needs children in the development of their child’s Individual Education Program (IEP)—to enable each child to reach the highest expression of themselves and fulfill their potential in living a meaningful life.

Lynda is an Educational Consultant and Advocate who helps families with the Special Education process to receive the best placement and services for their special needs child.

Bonnie is a special education advocate and parenting coach who helps parents find solutions to help their children overcome their special ed challenges.

As a special ed mom herself, Bonnie has dedicated the last 11 years to researching solutions to help her oldest son who was diagnosed PDD-NOS in 2009.

She is the author of Special Ed Mom Survival Guide: How to prevail in the special ed process while discovering life-long strategies for both you and your child.

She has a masters in educational counseling and another in spiritual psychology. She is an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor and PPS credentialed School Counselor.

Barbara Major is mom to two kids, one of whom has autism. She has a corporate background in educational technology where she worked over 10 years with educators to ensure student achievement. She transitioned out of corporate work to concentrate on helping her child with autism.

Like many parents of children with special needs she was led into advocacy when she needed to advocate for her own child.

Marta V. Leyva, M.A. is the owner of Voz de Victoria, a bilingual (Spanish / English) special education advocacy and educational consulting firm that has been supporting parents in for the last 8 years. She currently works to improve the lives of children with disabilities and their families by creating a collaborative partnership between parents/guardians and school/educational teams to ensure students receive a free appropriate public education (FAPE) while having both their academic and social/emotional needs met.

Mr. Eisenberg has provided advocacy assistance and representation to over 1,000 families with special needs since 1984. He has represented families in the education process at Individual Education Planning meetings, Mediations, and Resolution meetings; Individual Program Planning meetings, Mediations, Informal Meetings and Fair Hearings for Regional Center services and Eligibility. He has facilitated workshops for support groups on special education issues and the Lanterman Act. He specializes in working with families using interest based negotiations in a non-adversarial relationship. Mr. Eisenberg is also a parent of special needs children.